CASTING CALLS.. BOTTOMLESS WAITRESS NEEDED ASAP!$300.00 (So you need an actress or waitress or model...oh both..wait huh)

C&J ENTERTAINMENT IS LOOK FOR THICK OR BOTTOM HEAVY FEMALES... WE COMPENSATE YOU $300.00 FOR YOUR TIME. AUDITIONS ARE HELD IN THE BRONX.
PLEASE BRING A THONG/BOOTY SHORTS/AND SHEER TIGHTS OR STOCKINGS...... PLEASE SEND A PICS, A NUMBER, ALONG WITH YOUR DESCRIPTION PLEASE...... THIS I S NOT A 1 TIME GIG, THIS IS A THURSDAY TO SUNDAY NITE GIG FROM 7PM TO 11PM.

Compensation: $300.00
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Matt is confused as you might be too: So bottomless makes me think of some kind of all you can eat buffet or something that has no bottom when all you want is a nice, thick bottom...a big back as sir mix a lot would say or rap. Now if I'm not being silly - I could also take it to mean you want waitresses that won't be wearing bottoms or any underwear yet it seems like they will at least be in a thong which is something...

$300 to be a waitress in a thong for 4 hours isn't bad but I don't think it sounds like a lot when there are fully clothed waiters making that much or more...bartenders too ...and they are allowed to wear all their clothes..
Sounds like a safe, fun work environment -- but the math is nice overall..

$300 = 4 hours sans pants
$1200 = 16 hour workweek in a thong
$4800 = 1 month or 16 nights -- so 64 hours which is about 1.5 regular work week spread out in that time

With 2 weeks of vacation due to holidays and sickness, etc -- $60,000 a year to work 16 hours a week doesn't sound so bad ...but it'll be freezing cold in the winter...hope there are heaters! Happy 2011!


Follow Funny Craigslist Ads on Twitter

NEED HOT FEMALE BARTENDER NO EXP. NEEDED (Mixology 101 baby)

We are looking for a hot sexy female bartender to work night shifts must be hot good with people great pay no exp. needed send pic and contact #

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Matt might want a Manhattan: Scenario here where the bar gets a little busy or customers want drinks and you while hot and being drooled at can open bottles of beer.. what happens when you have to make rob roys, vodka gimlets, mojitos, margaritas, incredible hulks, long island iced teas, etc.? I hope you have a barback that knows how to make drinks and I'm not sure other women will care how hot you are if you don't get them their drink whether that's making you try to open a bottle of chardonnay, an appletini or perhaps a black & tan!

P.S. - I do not drink manhattans but I go there a lot (yes to all of them - I think there's a manhattan, kansas y'all)

Servers Wanted (To refrain or to "!!!" is the question..)

We are hiring for banquet related positions in order to build the most elite banquet serving staff in Atlanta. Our typical banquet servers help with place-settings, serving, clearing, wine services, and butler passing.

Part-time, Full-time, and On-call positions available. Flexible scheduling makes this position perfect for those who have a full-time job or are a college student.

Locations include: Catering facilities, banquet halls, country clubs, corporate office buildings, four-star and five-star restaurants and hotels, sports arenas and many more!!!.

Requirements:

GOOD, POSITIVE ATTITUDE - WE WANT POSITIVE, ENTHUSIASTIC people!!!

PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE - Sloppy, unkempt, tacky PLEASE REFRAIN from responding to this post!!!

SERVING EXPERIENCE - ALWAYS a PLUS, but willing to train the right person!!!

RELIABLE- NO flip-floppers ALLOWED!!!

RESPONSIBLE - Mature, professionals ONLY!!!

RESOURCEFUL – You will be going to new locations you might not have been to -HELLO, HOTLANTA IS BLOWING UP WITH COOL SPOTS!!!

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Dear Hotlanta blowing up w/cool spots: Capital letters and multiple exclamation marks won't make this job more appealing to me...but what will make it work is the fact that I might be tacky and a flip-flopper (I find that's someone that goes back and forth on the issues....like a politician) which means I might be too mature for your job - also weird you mention some elite places near the top yet you make it sound like you are hitting clubs in the bottom? I heard there's a place called like The Devil's Sphincter down there - will catering jobs be there and no mention of whether or not you care about those that may have a substance abuse hobby or not? Well this ad reeks of professionalism with a CAPITAL SLOPPY!

One independent pretty girl needed (don't worry..not for...escorting...)

You are nice to talk to and be with and looking for a easy safe fun reliable gig that is fun easy safe requires no experience and is legit and no sex at all involved.It can be something you can count on to help with your bills.If you are an open minded confident girl please send your picture name and number.

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Matt warns: If you have to say the gig is safe and has no sex involved but then add 'something you can count on to help with your bills' and open minded --- chances are if it's not escorting, you will be stared at/drooled on/ possibly touched or worse. Also if this girl is already independent, why does she need your job that requires no experience at all...tell me why?