massage wanted (Craigslist? Should be called Massagelist or Massageless)

i am willing top pay any amount just tell me who you are and please be female only as i am as well and have your price not be insane!

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: ? tell me the amount

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Hi woman looking to get a massage from another female: So you understand by saying "I'm willing to pay any amount" followed by "and have your price not be insane" - you have just cancelled yourself out? Oh you mean you were exaggerating because you need a backrub or a rub somewhere really, really badly? I see..it makes perfect sense. If you have money to spend, why not go see a professional masseuse and not waste time looking for Craigslist or is it not (just) massage you seek? The tale unfolds....

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Re-Holiday Companion CREEPY WEIRDO (Wow Craigslist is just like a movie cept it's real life)

[I believe this is a response to this Craigslist Ad - for reference]

ALL THIS GUY WANTS IS SEX,,,,,THIS IS NOT A COMPANION AD HE IS SOLICITING FOR SEX OR AS HE CALLS IT ,,,,",MAYBE A MASSAGE WOULD BE NICE" WEIRDO,,,,,,I GUESS IF YOUR A PROSTITUTE GO AHEAD AND RESPOND. THIS IS LIKE HIS 4TH AD.

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Way to Call the Old Man Out: Capital letters means YOU ARE ANGRY right? The guy just wants to talk (probably without any clothes on, true). I wonder if talking as opposed to doing is tougher on a prostitute like it's more work or harder work (although pun intended - the other form is.. but they are used to it).

P.S.: Thank you for counting or guesstimating how many ads older fellow has posted in regards to looking for a "holiday sitter". By the way Ben Stiller is coming out with a new film called "Little Fockers" but it's really just "Meet the Parents" for the 3rd time give or take a new Deniro look and gross out gag. Don't lose your finger over it! Happy Holidays!

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Seeking a Reliable Massage Therapist (and maybe a real therapist too..)

I'm seeking both a regular and reliable massage therapist. I would prefer an Asian therapist, but I'm really open. Furthermore, I would prefer to come to you, but I'm also open with this as well. Thanks

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No Thank You!: I know you probably only want 1 therapist but sounds like you want a regular therapist and a reliable massage therapist. Do you want to talk your problems over a back rub? Maybe you want someone asian because you might be asian but in this economy and marketplace, it's nice to know you can be open - really open! Tension gone!

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Holiday Sitter (E SGV) (A Winter Woodenland?)

Male 66,, seek Female for companionship for about3 months.
2days a week @ 2hrs hours per day @ 150.00 per wk

Must be dependable and have reliable car
BE OVER 35, race ,size and looks doesn't matter just be real. Must be flexible
Also MUST be open minded not looking for sex.
If interested please send contact # will not return emails

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Dear Male Aged 66: You want "companionship" for 2 days a week for 2 hours? What kind of "friendship" is that..or "companionship"? When the phrases open minded and not looking for sex are combined that usually means looking for sex but what do I know. Also if you can't return emails at age 66, maybe 2 hours isn't long enough even with viagara? Interesting you chose over 35 so 36 and up or does that include age 35 because 3 decades is a solid time frame. In fact I'm in my early 30s and just get lost thinking about those babies being my age one day and me being... well yea, no no I definitely do not! Good Luck sir (also there's a difference between a babysitter, a nurse and a companion ya know)

I am making a menu for some new restaurant (The Menu is made from people..it's PEOPLE!)

locations crown heights +Astoria.
job;
I need you to hold different dishes

in crown heights it is a Jamaican place

in Astoria it is eastern European.

pay is $40 cash

time elapsing will be 2 hours

it will be turned into a cartoon through computer imagery so your face will not become famous sorry!

you will pose with different authentic cuisine dishes in your hands.

no experience needed - just send description of what you look like to see if you fit the dish.best if you have a photo-but if not you will have to be able to come down to Steinway and have a free photo taken. this is on going we do this type of work all the time.you can earn as much as $200 per week if you do 5 shoots. you do not need to have an actors licenses .
we hire both males and females please submit you age an any concerns.
thank you.
we use Nikon digital camera and yes if you need some free pics that no problem  this is for a menu! 


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Matt is hungry: So I take it english is not your first language which is fine but it does seem odd that you want  anyone to be made into a cartoon holding dishes. I have acting experience myself and it feels very method to try to determine which dish is me and how me can be which dish. I'm either feeling a pinkabet or chopsuey but it's a tough call. So if I send my photo to you for your menu, you might take it and turn it into a cartoon for your menu and I might never even know because it won't look like me. I am not sure if I'm more disappointed with not being able to have my face become famous or the fact that my actor license is useless in this case. Oh well back to being a melting ice cream cone.

P.S. - Yes I would love to come get some free pics from you to help my career or to hang on my fridge to remember my time spent with you!

Needed: Cleaning Lady (But not for any actual mess..)

This is a tidy home that needs a weekly cleaning person. We are a nice family looking for a nice cleaning person; daytime; on a consistent schedule every Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
We're looking for someone who will:
Thoroughly clean bathrooms.
Vacuum bedrooms.
Clean and shine hardwood floors.
Clean the surfaces that need cleaning.
In return, we'll always leave you a neat house that will only need your care and maintenance -- you won't come to our place and find a mess.
We pay $10.00 per hour.
If this sounds like you, please respond and let us know:
What your availability is.
Whether you can provide references. You don't have to actually give us references in your reply, but if we reply back to you, we will expect you to provide them at that time.
We look forward to hearing from you

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Matt loves: So Let me get this straight, you want to hire someone to clean your house that you PROMISE
to leave neat... you need someone to thoroughly clean NEAT rooms?! I understand saying your house resembles
that of a hoarder might scare off people but no reason to call it neat. My dvd collection is neat as in neat-o (because it's not really that neat..). Also I know you don't want anyone to steal from you but who is looking to clean houses for $10 an hour and wanting to get you references from other people ...to have them take time out of their day to call another stranger to say "Hey, that person makes our house shine like the top of the Chrysler building AND guess what, has never stolen a thing, not even a red bull or 1 pair of panties!" Yeah good luck...and how NICE does one have to be...really?! I mean people working at Starbucks are making that or more money...they can be nice but they are in customer service... maybe some people need motivation to be mean on dirt and must trash talk in order to scrub those bathroom tiles squeaky clean, right?!

Seeking weekly house cleaner (SO detail oriented...)

Hi--

I'm looking for someone to clean my apartment once a week. It's a large one bedroom, nothing important to tell you. The usual apartment features: floors, tables, a bed, a kitchen, a bathroom. $40 per week.

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Matt's commentary: Nothing important to tell me?! Bummer, a letdown for sure! I might want to know the size of the apartment but knowing that it's got the usual old standard stuff puts me at ease! :)